Post By: Chelsea Kline STL Addiction Counseling Intern

Today we discussed some triggers for use and identified the areas in our lives that are high risk for substance use. Once you are aware of these high risk factors, you can start working on a plan using your tools to avoid and eliminate these scenarios that make sobriety harder to manage. Once these situations are dealt with and avoided, it is easier to stay in recovery and not relapse. The areas we looked at and evaluated were: 

• People
• Places
• Times of day
• Situations
• Thoughts
• Physical 
• Emotional

Go through the list and identify which of these areas or what parts of these areas increase risk of substance use. We can combat these high risk situations by, first, being mindful of them, so you know when you are in a high risk situation. Secondly, have a plan prior to the high risk factor happening so it is easier to put into action. And lastly, putting the plan into action and becoming even better about noticing and avoiding high risk factors for substance use. 

Post By: Chelsea Kline STL Addiction Counseling Intern

In recovery, the term co-dependence is often used to describe a relationship where there is a dependence on, or need to control another.  A co-dependent relationship often involves placing a lower priority on one's own needs, while being excessively preoccupied with the needs of others. Today the group compared the characteristics of a healthy relationship to those of an unhealthy/toxic relationship.  The group then discussed unhealthy relationships in active addiction and strategies to create healthy relationships that support a sober lifestyle. 

Toxic Love: 

• Feels all consuming
• Fears letting go
• Allows little individual growth
• Plays psychological games
• Gives to get something back
• Attempts to change the partner
• Seeks solutions outside of self
• Refuses or abuses commitment
• Looks to partner for affirmation and worth
• Fears abandonment upon routine separation
• Re-creates familiar negative feelings
• Has difficulty defining ego boundaries
• Has elements of self destruction 

Healthy Love: 

• Allows for individuality 
• Accepts endings
• Invites growth in both parties
• Feels freedom to ask honestly for what is wanted
• Experiences giving and receiving in the same way
• Does not attempt to change or control partner
• Accepts limitations of self and partner
• Can make and respect commitment
• Has high self esteem and sense of well being
• Trusts memory of loved one; enjoys solitude
• Expresses feelings spontaneously 
• Experiences and enjoys both oneness with and separateness from partner
• Brings out best qualities in both partners

Post by: Chelsea Kline STL Addiction Intern

I thought this video was very interesting! Gilbert discusses the stigma of mental illness/addiction surrounding those in a creative field (writing, dancing, music, etc.) She gives a new perspective on the creative process and discusses how the stress and anxiety that the demands of the job bring, along with the pressure to "top the last book/song/dance/etc." can break these people down and bring about these mental illnesses, including drug and alcohol addiction. 

Blog Post By: Chelsea Kline STL Addiction Intern

Today in group we discussed what a satisfying life looks and feels like and how we reach that point. A satisfying life can mean living with peace and being content with how things turn out. It can mean living each day to the fullest or being able to accept what comes our way, good and bad, and knowing we can cope with it. To lead a satisfying life, you need to tools to do so. 

Two big concepts that are crucial to every person gaining maturity is 

• The ability to live with uncertainty 
• The ability to delay immediate gratification in favor of long range goals

                      - Impulse Control
                      - Positive vision of the future
                      - Intention to follow through

Necessary Life Skills: 

• Problem solving
• Identify negative feelings... tolerate...cope
• Relaxation skills
• Being alone and enjoying it
• Learning to say no
• Learning to have intimate relationships/being worthy of love
• Development of job skills
• Communication skills
• Belief in your own self competency
• Having fun and trusting yourself

As you look over these skills, pick out the ones you are good at and choose which ones you could work on. Stay mindful of the skills you can work on in your life and you will see change. Once you realize what a satisfying life (not a perfect life) looks like to you and see the things you want to accomplish while you are on this earth, you can begin working on these skills to attain that goal/peace/joy/patience/etc and become more fulfilled with the life you live. 

Post by: Chelsea Kline STL Addiction Intern

Tonight we read a passage from the book "The Heart of Addiction" by Dr. Lance Dodes and reflected on it. Dr. Dodes' theory of addiction is that the underlying feelings we have drive us to use as a way to cope. He began realizing that his patients were feeling better once they made the decision to act on the addiction (walk into the bar) before even engaging in the behavior (taking the first drink). Once the decision is made, the person feels empowered and no longer feels helpless. 

From the passage we read, Dr. Dodes leaves the impression that addiction happen as a result of us feeling helpless or powerless in a situation. Most times these feelings are underlying and are not recognized by the person. We feel driven to work against these negative feelings and counteract them with anger. We feel powerless which leads to frustration which can lead to anger and further with the addictive behavior to cope. Anger is a secondary emotion and when you look beneath it you will find fear, hurt, shame, or frustration. 

Addictions stem from trying to cope with these unwanted or negative feelings that are a natural part of life in an unhealthy way. We need to learn to sit with our emotions, even the negative ones, and then move on from them by coping in a healthy way (exercise, yoga, meditation, reading, talking to a friend, etc.) If we can realize the underlying feelings that are driving us to use substances, we can become more mindful of them and change the behavior, replacing them with positive coping mechanisms.