Post By: Chelsea Kline STL Addiction Counseling Intern

Today we discussed some triggers for use and identified the areas in our lives that are high risk for substance use. Once you are aware of these high risk factors, you can start working on a plan using your tools to avoid and eliminate these scenarios that make sobriety harder to manage. Once these situations are dealt with and avoided, it is easier to stay in recovery and not relapse. The areas we looked at and evaluated were: 

• People
• Places
• Times of day
• Situations
• Thoughts
• Physical 
• Emotional

Go through the list and identify which of these areas or what parts of these areas increase risk of substance use. We can combat these high risk situations by, first, being mindful of them, so you know when you are in a high risk situation. Secondly, have a plan prior to the high risk factor happening so it is easier to put into action. And lastly, putting the plan into action and becoming even better about noticing and avoiding high risk factors for substance use. 

Post By: Chelsea Kline STL Addiction Counseling Intern

In recovery, the term co-dependence is often used to describe a relationship where there is a dependence on, or need to control another.  A co-dependent relationship often involves placing a lower priority on one's own needs, while being excessively preoccupied with the needs of others. Today the group compared the characteristics of a healthy relationship to those of an unhealthy/toxic relationship.  The group then discussed unhealthy relationships in active addiction and strategies to create healthy relationships that support a sober lifestyle. 

Toxic Love: 

• Feels all consuming
• Fears letting go
• Allows little individual growth
• Plays psychological games
• Gives to get something back
• Attempts to change the partner
• Seeks solutions outside of self
• Refuses or abuses commitment
• Looks to partner for affirmation and worth
• Fears abandonment upon routine separation
• Re-creates familiar negative feelings
• Has difficulty defining ego boundaries
• Has elements of self destruction 

Healthy Love: 

• Allows for individuality 
• Accepts endings
• Invites growth in both parties
• Feels freedom to ask honestly for what is wanted
• Experiences giving and receiving in the same way
• Does not attempt to change or control partner
• Accepts limitations of self and partner
• Can make and respect commitment
• Has high self esteem and sense of well being
• Trusts memory of loved one; enjoys solitude
• Expresses feelings spontaneously 
• Experiences and enjoys both oneness with and separateness from partner
• Brings out best qualities in both partners

Post by: Chelsea Kline STL Addiction Intern

I thought this video was very interesting! Gilbert discusses the stigma of mental illness/addiction surrounding those in a creative field (writing, dancing, music, etc.) She gives a new perspective on the creative process and discusses how the stress and anxiety that the demands of the job bring, along with the pressure to "top the last book/song/dance/etc." can break these people down and bring about these mental illnesses, including drug and alcohol addiction. 

Blog Post By: Chelsea Kline STL Addiction Intern

Today in group we discussed what a satisfying life looks and feels like and how we reach that point. A satisfying life can mean living with peace and being content with how things turn out. It can mean living each day to the fullest or being able to accept what comes our way, good and bad, and knowing we can cope with it. To lead a satisfying life, you need to tools to do so. 

Two big concepts that are crucial to every person gaining maturity is 

• The ability to live with uncertainty 
• The ability to delay immediate gratification in favor of long range goals

                      - Impulse Control
                      - Positive vision of the future
                      - Intention to follow through

Necessary Life Skills: 

• Problem solving
• Identify negative feelings... tolerate...cope
• Relaxation skills
• Being alone and enjoying it
• Learning to say no
• Learning to have intimate relationships/being worthy of love
• Development of job skills
• Communication skills
• Belief in your own self competency
• Having fun and trusting yourself

As you look over these skills, pick out the ones you are good at and choose which ones you could work on. Stay mindful of the skills you can work on in your life and you will see change. Once you realize what a satisfying life (not a perfect life) looks like to you and see the things you want to accomplish while you are on this earth, you can begin working on these skills to attain that goal/peace/joy/patience/etc and become more fulfilled with the life you live. 

Post by: Chelsea Kline STL Addiction Intern

Tonight we read a passage from the book "The Heart of Addiction" by Dr. Lance Dodes and reflected on it. Dr. Dodes' theory of addiction is that the underlying feelings we have drive us to use as a way to cope. He began realizing that his patients were feeling better once they made the decision to act on the addiction (walk into the bar) before even engaging in the behavior (taking the first drink). Once the decision is made, the person feels empowered and no longer feels helpless. 

From the passage we read, Dr. Dodes leaves the impression that addiction happen as a result of us feeling helpless or powerless in a situation. Most times these feelings are underlying and are not recognized by the person. We feel driven to work against these negative feelings and counteract them with anger. We feel powerless which leads to frustration which can lead to anger and further with the addictive behavior to cope. Anger is a secondary emotion and when you look beneath it you will find fear, hurt, shame, or frustration. 

Addictions stem from trying to cope with these unwanted or negative feelings that are a natural part of life in an unhealthy way. We need to learn to sit with our emotions, even the negative ones, and then move on from them by coping in a healthy way (exercise, yoga, meditation, reading, talking to a friend, etc.) If we can realize the underlying feelings that are driving us to use substances, we can become more mindful of them and change the behavior, replacing them with positive coping mechanisms. 

Blog post by: Chelsea Kline, STL Addiction Intern

This morning we discussed some coping behaviors that we can use when experiencing cravings. It is important to be mindful of when we are using these coping mechanisms so we can see that they are working in helping us stay sober.  Pick out a few coping strategies that resonate with you, and  focus on the application of these tools. Counseling and treatment give you tools to stay sober, but it is the application of those tools that will keep you sober.



  * Work the material          The more you use the tools/material you are given, practice, and participate, the quicker the healing.

• Integrate the split self

          Accept all sides of yourself, even the not so great parts, because they make you who you are. 

• Expect growth to feel uncomfortable

          If it feels awkward or difficult, you're doing it right. 

• Replace destructive activities

          Supplement substance use with exercise, meditation, reading, or any other positive alternative.

• Pretend you like yourself 

          Use positive self-talk instead of negative self-talk and soon enough you won't even have to pretend.

• Focus on now

          Do what you can to make today better without overthinking the past and/or future.

• Praise yourself

          Notice what you did right and realize that it is helping your growth.

• Observe repeating patterns

          Try to be mindful about the patterns surrounding use so you can better avoid it and cope with it.

• Self-nurture

          Do something you enjoy like hiking, yoga, seeing a movie, or going to the pool. Treat yourself.

• Practice delay

          Many times if we can just delay substance use, we give ourselves enough time to rethink and avoid it.

• Let go of destructive relationships

          If it can't be fixed, detach. Destructive relationships can stunt your growth in life. 

• Take responsibility

          Take an active approach, not a passive one. Take responsibility for your treatment. 

• Set a deadline

          Make it happen by setting a date. Putting a deadline on a goal can help it become a reality.

• Make a commitment

          Promise yourself to do what is right to continue on the path of recovery.

• Rethink

          Think in positive and realistic terms to get a better outcome. 

Handout adopted from: Seeking Safety by Lisa Najavits

We know it is hard for our loved ones to see us struggle in our addiction, and at times communication can be hard and can end in frustration and hurt. No one is perfect at communicating 24/7, but there are some tips we can remember to strengthen honest communication and decrease hurtful arguments with our family. 

Blog post by Chelsea Kline, STL Addiction intern. 

Today we went over a few coping strategies we can use during recovery to help us stay on the sober path. These are good to use when we are feeling tempted to use, bored, or anxious and can help us learn how to replace unhealthy behaviors with healthy ones.

• Try something, anything

            Don't sit around and give yourself time to use. Think of something you can be doing that is healthy and go do it! Don't wait for tomorrow, do it today. A good plan today is better than a perfect one tomorrow. 

• Discovery

           Don't let excessive negative thoughts ruminate in your mind. Seek out the truth of your assumption instead of just playing out your version of what happened in your head. 

• Attend treatment

        Whatever kind of treatment you are using to help you recover, whether it is AA, self-help, medications or group therapy,  make it a point to keep showing up. Some days it is hard to find the motivation to go to treatment.   Apply "opposite action," and make treatment a priority even when you don't "feel" like going.  Woody Allen said, "90% of life is just showing up. " 

• Create a buffer

            Put something between you and danger (substance use, tempting situations, toxic people, etc.). Creating time between a craving and using can help to re-evaluate the consequences of substance use.

• Say what you really think

           Honest communication is key in any and all relationships and you will feel closer to others when you are open and honest with them. However, there is such a thing as too much or brutal honesty that can be inappropriate, so we want to use this with people we can trust and in a constructive manner. 

• Listen to your needs

            Stop neglecting your own needs. A main point of recovery is taking care of yourself and the only way you can do that is knowing what your body/mind/spirit needs and making sure those needs are met.  

• Move toward your opposite

           We are looking for balance in our lives so look at one of your attributes or behaviors that may be on an extreme end and try to go the opposite way to find equilibrium. For example, if you are too dependent, try being more independent. 

• Structure your day

            A productive schedule can help you stay connected to reality and gives you little time to use or even think about using. We don't want to over schedule and overwhelm ourselves, but having a productive day can keep us on track and healthy. 

• Protect yourself

          Put a shield up against the negatives in your life. Stay away from destructive people, bad environments, and substances. If you protect yourself from many of the negatives, you leave room for more positives. 

• Soothing talk

          Using gentle self talk can help you calm down and take care of yourself. Try talking to yourself as if you are talking to a small child or a friend. Sometimes we are too hard on ourselves and need to engage in self-soothing or positive self talk. 

• Think of the consequences

           Remember to play the tape all the way through. Don't stop your thought process after remembering the high and the feel good of substance use. Make yourself think about the consequences that happen after use and use those consequences to motivate you not to use. Really see the impact of the decision to use for tomorrow, next week, and next year. 

• Trust the process

           Just keep moving forward. It is hard in the beginning and you may feel lost, but if you keep trusting the process and going through the motions, the thoughts and feelings will follow and it WILL get easier. The only way out is through. 

Think of how you can use these strategies throughout your day and make them available to help you through recovery. Certain strategies work better for certain people so try them out and see which ones really suit you and help to keep you sober. 

*List adopted from the handout from Seeking Safety by Lisa M. Najavits

Finding acceptance in our lives about the past and future alongside a positive attitude can make a huge difference in our perspectives on life and the behaviors we engage in. Accepting that we cannot control other people or many situations we are in, and that we only have the power to change ourselves is something everyone needs to realize if we want to find peace in our lives. We are not responsible for other people's happiness and we shouldn't try so hard to change people who don't want to change. Accept that the past happened and the future is unsure but live in the present. Don't waste the present dreading on the past or worrying about the future. Accepting that we do not have control over everything in our lives can be a very freeing feeling. Don't feel anxious about it, feel good that you are in charge of the effort, not the outcome. If we try our best in what we do, the rest is up to God/fate/the universe to have happen what is meant to happen and we aren't the ones always responsible. Our attitude also has a big effect on how we live our lives. Everyone has bad days, but if we wake up with a positive and thankful attitude about life, the more likely we are to have a good day. Everyone also has problems, big and small. Realizing that we aren't the only ones in the world with problems is helpful when trying to have a more positive attitudes. Thinking of third world countries with starving and poor people in them makes our problems look a lot smaller. Having a positive attitude will give off positive energy and attract other positive people into our lives. 

Tonight in group we went over some basic ABC's of cognitive behavioral therapy, the main style of psychotherapy Lauren and Francine use. Understanding how your thoughts work, where they come from, and what they lead to is essential when you use cognitive behavioral therapy so you can then challenge and reframe those thoughts. 

A: Activating Event
-These are events that trigger certain thoughts. 
-They usually make you anxious/nervous/angry/sad etc. which can then lead to substance use.
-The event causes ANTs (automatic negative thoughts)

B: Belief System
-How you perceive the world.
-Based on past and present experiences and how you were raised.
-Some are helpful and some are not.
-Can be thoughts/opinions of others' being replayed in your head as your own.
-A dysfunctional belief system will cause dysfunctional thoughts and can lead to negative behaviors.

C: Consequence
-Can be good or bad
-The outcome of the situation.
-A+B=C

D: Dispute
-You need to dispute B (belief system)
-Challenge, rethink, and reframe the belief system that isn't working anymore. 
-Replace negative, unrealistic, and bias self-talk with positive, rational thoughts. 

E: Effect
-Get a new, healthier, positive effect.

For example, a lot of people have a perfectionist belief system where they feel they are never allowed to fail and any type of mistake or flaw is seen as a devastation. An activating event might be getting a poor review from your boss on a recent project. The belief system exaggerates this negative event and can lead to substance abuse as a consequence. If you dispute this belief system and become mindful of it, you may say to yourself, "I feel bad I didn't perform as well as I know I can, but no one is perfect. It is in the past now and the best thing I can do is to move forward by doing better on my next project with a positive attitude." You can then get a new effect. Maybe instead of abusing substances, the new effect or consequence is that you relax in a bathtub or do some meditation. This effect has a much more positive impact on your life than the former. 

Going back to the basics is important to do in recovery to break down treatment and take it one step at a time. It's all about your thoughts/beliefs and getting them to lead to new coping behaviors that are positive and not damaging to your life. 

Blog by: Chelsea Kline